10 Ways to Annoy a Britannian Prince
by Mr. Flying Mint Bunny
Summary: Various situations that would annoy our beloved Lelouch. Drabbles. Suzalulu. Updated frequently. Rated T for mild language and various situations. Semi-Crack.
1. Of Ice Cream and Rude Awakenings

_**Toc here! So umm... we've had way to much study hall time. Therefore, we came up with this... I don't even know. It was fun writing it, and we apologize if it's not very funny for you guys (but it should be... hopefully.) Well, we tried.**_

_**P.S. Mim won't be remarking today because she feels overly exposed. Yeah.**_

_**Enjoy and comment!**_

* * *

**(1) Wake him up in the most obnoxious way possible.**

Peaceful... the cherry blossoms outside of his window rustled gently with the passing breeze. The warm rays of sunshine slowly roused Lelouch from slumber. His surroundings were enveloped with a calming silence, only broken by the occasional chirping of songbirds. So rare were these mornings. _"An actual day of rest and pea-" CRASH!_ The sound of breaking glass interrupted Lelouch mid-thought. Groaning, he flopped back into his pillow.

"_FREEZE!"_ a familiar green-eyed, brown-haired man with a 2-inch strip of black fabric wrapped around his face (eye holes cut out of course) yelled, after performing what could only be called a "Spinzaku" flip through the now-shattered window.

The man held a gun filled with pink goo, smelling vaguely of strawberries, and fired it at Lelouch's face, failing of course. Then, with his inhumanly athletic abilities, started chucking ice cubes at the young Britannian, narrowly missing his emotionless face.

"LELOUCH!" he yelled, as he charged ferociously at the ravenette. "GET U-" Unfortunately, he never got to finish, as he slipped on a melting ice cube. Lelouch watched as the intruder not-so-gracefully faceplanted into a glop of ice cream.

"You know that you're going to have to pay for this, along with the other thirty-some windows you've broken, right, Suzaku?"

"Ugh..." Suzaku groaned as he lifted his ice cream stained face off the floor to look at the boy.

"But...," Lelouch began as he rose from his bed. Suzaku's heart pounded as Lelouch gingerly slipped off the mask and tauntingly drifted his lips towards Suzaku's cheek.

"Your choice of ice cream's not bad."


	2. Chess and Unicorn Puke

**It's Mim, umm... I don't even know what happened here. This was Toc's idea...then I gave her some plot, and then this happened. Toc tickled me, then disabled my iPod for 15 minutes, so imma go kill her now. And my siblings.**

Enjoy!

**_And Review! (Ha. So much for not letting me comment.) _****(*stabs*)**

* * *

**(2) Paint his chess pieces *sparkly* pink and rainbow.**

Suzaku quickened his pace. Lelouch had always been the more artistic one; his long, nimble fingers could easily manage _anything_.

_15 pieces left... _

His hands and work area now resembled unicorn puke...sparkly, rainbow, and pink.

_5 pieces left. _

Suzaku had roughly 10 minutes left before Lelouch and Nunnally return (of course, Nunnally was in on the plan, begging her big brother to "spend some time" with her outside.) She was the only person Lelouch couldn't refuse.

Finally, Suzaku brushed the final stroke of pink sparkles on the last pawn. Scrambling, he got rid of the evidence (meaning stuff everything under the couch) and returned the now modified chess pieces back into their respective positions in Lelouch's black leather case just in time to hear the click of a key in the front door.

Yes, everything was working out perfectly, that is, until Suzaku noticed his hands, still stained with unicorn puke.

"We're back!," Nunnally giggled as Lelouch wheeled her into the room.

"Uh...did you have fun?," Suzaku stammered has he hastily shoved his hands into his pockets.

"We sure did, didn't we, Lelouch?," Nunnally cheerfully replied, but the extremely attractive

ravenette only grumbled. "I'm late for the chess tournament at Rivalz' house."

Of course, Suzaku knew him well enough to know that he was secretly going to gamble with some rich snob. Lelouch grabbed his chess case and hurried out the door. Needless to say, he came home early today.

"Back so soon?," Suzaku inquired sarcastically, looking up from his book as he heard the front door slam shut. A very livid Lelouch stormed into the tea room and forcefully shoved the briefcase into Suzaku's lap, his eyes dangerously fierce.

"Care to explain?" Lelouch's voice dripped with venom.

"Not really," Suzaku stated, not even looking up from is novel.

Lelouch, without a reply, calmly strode over to Suzaku, who was unaware of this action. He then proceeded to nonchalantly sit on Suzaku's lap, crossing his legs and folding his arms. The look on Suzaku's face revealed his surprise, but it quickly changed to a smirk.

Suzaku swiftly forced Lelouch off and pinned him to the ground by his wrists, his knees on the either side of Lelouch's waist.

"You do realize that I'm stronger than you, right?"

Lelouch mirrored Suzaku's smirk. "Yes, completely aware."

Before Suzaku could say anything else, Lelouch smashed his lips on Suzaku's, and the brunette's emerald eyes widened at the unexpected action. His grip loosened and Lelouch took this opportunity to free himself from under Suzaku.

"I expect my chess pieces to return to normal by the time I finish tea with Nunnally."

Lelouch dusted off his clothes with another smirk and exited the room, leaving a stunned Suzaku still sprawled on the floor, grinning like the idiot he is.


	3. Lolita Britannian Maid

**Hey guys! First of all, thank you to **_LeAwesomeOne IX, cd2325976, ForevrMaddy, Shadowqween908, _**and******_pft980811_ **for your reviews! You are greatly appreciated and we're excited to write more Suzalulu for you guys! **

_**Toc here! This is a shout-out for ideas to annoy our favorite violet-eyed prince. Kindly post your ideas through the little review button at the bottom that you have the irresistible urge to press! Thanks!**_

_**Enjoy and Review!**_

* * *

**(3) Replace every article of clothing he owns with sexy French maid dresses.**

**(Part 1)**

Lelouch squinted his eyes against the bright morning sunlight, which streamed into his bedroom from the open window...wait. OPEN WINDOW!? He quickly rose up from the bed and squealed (yes, squealed) in shock as he discovered that he was completely naked, from head to toe. Pulling his sheet along, he dashed to draw the shades on the window, acknowledging the throbbing headache that was beginning to haunt him.

He did not want to remember what last night, he decided as he opened the closet door, for his usual attire, only to find pink, frilly French maid dresses filling up the entire wardrobe. His own outfits were no where to be found. Vaguely, he recalled something he wish he hadn't.

_"Lelouch! Strip for us!," cried an intoxicated Suzaku over the pounding music. Lelouch stumbled onto a table, still holding his vodka-infused punch, (very suggestively) removed all his clothing. _

"_I, Lelouch...Vi Britannia...command you to burn all my... normal clothing, and replace it...with sexy French maid cosplays!," Lelouch stuttered, still stripping on the table, while his Geass takes it's affect on Milly, who subconsciously smirked evilly._

Two things came into his mind:

a) He was VERY glad he wasn't raped

b) Motherfucking shit-balls

Lelouch cursed as he recalled last night's...activities. He tore the room apart in a frenzy in search of his phone, only to curse when he realized he must have left it when he stripped last night.

Rubbing his temples in frustration, Lelouch realized that he had no other choices besides locking himself up in his room and/or wearing this "rape me please" outfit until he could get himself something decent to wear. He would have gone with the first one, if it hadn't been for one very persistent doorbell ringer.

* * *

Suzaku was getting tired of hearing the chime and not receiving an answer. So, he tried forcing the door open. Didn't work. He didn't want Lelouch to be mad at him for breaking the door _and_ for what happened last night. Even Suzaku couldn't fully recall the details of the party...with the exception of Lelouch stripping. He remembered that perfectly.

After one last final attempt at the door, he gave up and decided to try his luck at the windows. Wanting to be like the cliched love stories, Suzaku picked up a small stone and chucked it at one of the windows, hoping to catch the attention of the young Britannian, only for it to sail through the apparently-open window and strike Lelouch, earning a small yelp in response.

Lelouch stormed to the window in a fit of anger and murderous rage, forgetting the bed sheet he had wrapped himself in.

Imagine Suzaku's surprise as he saw a very naked Lelouch appear at the window cursing and swearing. God, he didn't even know Lelouch could talk like that...

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THROW AT ME, BASTARD?! GET THE HELL OFF MY-" Only after a river of curse words did Lelouch notice that the "piece of shit" he was referring to was Suzaku, and that he had forgotten the bed sheet on the other side of the room.

Lelouch's florid face was growing hotter by the second, his body rigid in embarrassment. Only after Suzaku uttered a mix between a greeting and an apology did Lelouch snap back into reality and bolted back into the bedroom with a small squeal.

"Lelouch? Are you okay? I'm coming up!" a very flustered and worried Suzaku scaled the wall (again with his inhumanly athletic skills).

Lelouch, left with no other choice, hid in the large walk-in closet, his bed sheets trailing after him.

"Lelouch? Lelouch!"

"Damn it Suzaku," Lelouch silently cursed. "Why the hell are you in my house?"

Just then, the closet doors swung open, revealing the poor, naked Lelouch, curled up in a ball.

"Oh god I'm so sorry Lelouch!," Suzaku apologized, a blush slowly creeping into his cheeks. He then quickly closed the closet door.

Lelouch considered his options in the dark closet. Confront Suzaku naked, or in a maid dress. Not going to end well for him either way. Well, better clothed than nothing.

He stepped out, clad in the dress _plus_ the apron _and_ the stockings. "What the HELL do you want, Suzaku?"

But the brunette was to busy dying of blood loss to answer.

* * *

"So uhhh... Lelouch..." Suzaku didn't really know what to say in situations like these. "I was coming to check on you because of...well you know...yesterday...and t-to apologize for...everything."

Lelouch, sitting on the bed with his arms crossed, huffed in annoyance. But one cannot be dressed in a French maid outfit and not look absolutely _adorable _when angry (especially when that one is our favorite Lulu). Suzaku tried to suppress the urge to say "Awwww~", but failed and ended up with a squeak.

"To make it up for you, I'm going out to get some new clothes for you!," Suzaku declared.

"Stop talking and go already," Lelouch thought, still red as a tomato with anger and embarrassment.

(**Oh, but it won't be fun if Lelouch didn't go with him, will it? *hint hint*)**

"That way, you won't be seen by Lady Marianne and her guests this evening. Knowing her, I bet that she'll make you the maid for her afternoon tea when she sees you in...this."

Wait. WHAT? Lelouch, in his turmoil, had forgotten that today was his mother's party. Great. Just great. Not only will he be exposed to nobles and royals around the world, his last reserves of manliness will disappear along with it too.

"So taking you with me will be your best bet!," Suzaku continued. "Let's go to the mall!"

Lelouch was NOT going to like this. At all.


	4. Lolita Britannian Maid (Part 2)

**(Mim) Hey guys, this took FOREVER to write and edit. Everything sounded so awkwardly phrased (and not innuendo-awkward, it was awkward-awkward). But we were determined to have this up tonight, so you're welcome. Enjoy!**

_**(Toc here!) Like Mim said, I'm exhausted, have a bunch of tests tomorrow, and had a butt load of homework... but you guys are more important!~ **_

_**Enjoy and review so that we'll have the motivation to keep on going! Thanks guys! **_

* * *

**Lolita Britannian Maid**

**(Part 2)**

"Okay. You wait here in the car and I'll go grab something." Suzaku jumped out of the car and raced into the mall, leaving Lelouch, bewildered, in the passenger seat. They had just endured an awkward 20 minute drive and when they finally arrived, Suzaku had made a mad dash into on of the stores for an unknown reason.

Lelouch mentally thanked Suzaku. He probably went to get some...non-sex inducing clothing...hopefully. So when Suzaku came back 10 minutes later carrying a big box titled "Wigs for Women", Lelouch had the irresistible urge to gouge the previously named "piece of shit"'s eyes out.

"So I had to look around a bit to find a color that matched your own, but I finally found one!," Suzaku declared, feeling accomplished, as he pulled out two long, curly raven pigtails that were attached to large hair clips. Lelouch mentally facepalmed.

"You had the time to get _that_ but not some legit clothes?" Lelouch was now wondering if Suzaku did it on purpose, or if he was really that stupid.

"Well... I was thinking that it would be bad if people recognized you...Now put them on."

"NO WAY IN HELL AM I WEARING THAT!"

"Awww...but it matches your outfit so well... Anyways, I don't know what to get you, so you'll need to come yourself... unless you want more skirts and dresses, that is." Suzaku grinned creepily, the grin of a fangirl who just witnessed something involving their OTP and yaoi.

Once again, Lelouch was out of options. Checkmate.

Reluctantly, he fastened the pigtails to his head while Suzaku watched, thoroughly amused.

Lelouch, blushing furiously, tried to ignore what felt like hundreds of curious eyes (looking at the wrong places) as he entered the mall with Suzaku.

After what felt like hours of walking and millions of stares emitted by the same gender (in reality it actually took around 5 minutes), they finally reached Lelouch's favorite store, "Geass."

* * *

10 sleeveless black turtlenecks, 5 pairs of gray pants and a brown mid-rif jacket later, Lelouch was _finally_ ready to check out. Heading over to the cashier, a green-haired girl who's name plate read "C.C.", Lelouch set his load of clothes down for check-out.

"May I see you card please?" C.C. asked.

"Sure. One sec." Lelouch turned to Suzaku, who's face turned pale when he felt his back pockets.

"Fuck. Uhhh... I think I left it in the car when I gave you the wig."

Lelouch stood emotionless for a second. Then, before Suzaku knew it, he felt hands on his butt.

"Hey! What are you doing!?" Suzaku yelped as he felt someone feel his butt. "STOP! That tickles!"

"What does it look like I'm doing, idiot?! I don't believe you!" Lelouch continued to search for the wallet on Suzaku.

"I'm telling the tru- AHHH! NO, NOT _THERE_! STOP IT LELOUCH!"

Unfortunately for them, a certain blonde female was just walking past as Suzaku uttered the (very suggestive and awkwardly phrased) plea.

* * *

Milly stopped in her tracks. Her ears perked up. " No, not _there_? Stop it Lelouch...?" Her hands flew up to cover her mouth as sudden realization hit her. But just as quickly, her lips morphed into a pervy smirk. About time Lelouch and Suzaku hooked up...

Like a ninja, she crept to the entrance if the store and peeked in, finding Lelouch and Suzaku in a very... compromising position... Wait. Was Lelouch wearing a French maid dress? Were those hair extensions? The squirming couple were to busy to notice a small, quick flash of light emitted from Milly's hiding place.

Milly quickly withdrew her arms and observed the image she had just taken with her phone. Oh yes... the school's gonna like this... Suddenly, a idea popped into her head. Quickly dialing Shirley, Milly waited for her to pick up the phone."Hello? Hi! It's me. I have to cancel today's plans. Something... more important came up last minute. Aww... you're so understanding... See you tomorrow!"

Returning her phone back into her purse, Milly grinned evilly.

* * *

Lelouch sat down on a bench of the mall's little indoor balcony with a huff.

"I'm so sorry!" Suzaku was desperately trying to get Lelouch to stop ignoring him. "I'll go to the car and get my wallet right now! Just wait here till I get back." With that, Suzaku dashed off.

After retrieving his wallet, Suzaku made his way back into the mall. Searching for the balcony where he left Lelouch, he realized that it was on the second floor. He looked up. And he was so very glad he did. Lelouch had stood up and was now leaning on the side of the _glass _balcony, giving Suzaku a perfect view of the little black, lacy underwear he wore (his "normal" underwear was also burnt during the "incident" and the outfit came with them so...) Suzaku felt a continuing stream of a warm liquid squirt out of his nose; his vision swirled with black dots. Suzaku didn't remember falling onto the floor.

"-uzaku! Wake up! Suzaku!" Suzaku distantly heard someone call is name. Cracking open his eyes, he saw a very worried Lelouch crouching over him.

"Ughhhh... What happened?" Suzaku looked at his shirt, which was now covered in blood.

"I don't know. You weren't back for a long time, so I came downstairs to look for you. I found you on the floor, next to a very scary pool of blood." Lelouch's voice still showed concern. "What the hell happened, Suzaku? You scared me to death. I thought you were dead!"

A certain image came into Suzaku's head. "Ummm... I slipped and fell on my face?" Another small stream of blood trickled from his nose.

Lelouch sighed. Taking a handkerchief out (another part of the maid cosplay), Lelouch gingerly dabbed at Suzaku's nose, ignoring the blush that had made it's way into Suzaku's cheeks. "You have to be more careful, you know. I might actually find you dead next time."

"Okay. I got my wallet though!" Suzaku started to get up. "We can buy the clo-AHHHHH!"

Being the clumsy fool he is, Suzaku's foot slipped on the blood and he went airborne for a second. Next thing he knew, he was on top of Lelouch.

"I-I uh... I'm so sorry Lelou-"

Suzaku was interrupted by a few bystanders. "Hey, come on! Get a room! We're trying to walk here!" someone shouted from the passing crowd.

Getting up and trying to hide his florid face, Suzaku extended a hand to pull Lelouch up, which he (thankfully) accepted.

"Umm... sorry about that." Suzaku's heart was beating rapidly. Lelouch's face was flustered.

"Clumsy bastard," Lelouch muttered under his breath, refusing to look at Suzaku.

"You know what? Lunch seems to be a good idea right now," Suzaku tried, wanting to get out of this awkward situation. Lelouch huffed again, crossing his arms as he followed Suzaku to the food court.

* * *

"So... what do you want to eat?" Suzaku turned to face Lelouch, only to find that he had disappeared. Bewildered, Suzaku looked around to see the attractive ravenette talking to some cashier guy at a pizza place. The guy was staring at Lelouch's butt. In an instant, Suzaky was at Lelouch's side, pulling Lelouch away from the confused cashier. "Thanks so much, but we're not going to order anything from here. The pizzas are probably burnt anyways. Come on Lelouch, let's go. NOW."

Lelouch, also confused, pulled away from Suzaku. "What are you doing? I was just ordering food!"

Suzaku looked angry. "That _pervert_ right there was staring up your skirt!"

"He was not!"

"Was too!"

"Anyway, why so protective all of a sudden huh?," Lelouch asked, clearly annoyed. "Did you hit your head too when you fell?"

"Uhh... It's just... awkward. People can't just look up girls' skirts."

Lelouch was insulted. "Oh so I'm a girl now?"

"Wha- No! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Sure." Lelouch was now walking away. "Let's just go get the clothes and get out of here."

* * *

Lelouch was rummaging through the racks of clothes at "Geass" while Suzaku sat waiting, his head hung low. God he was so stupid! He shouldn't have said that to Lelouch... it's just that he looked so... outrageously like a girl... a really pretty girl. Sighing, Suzaku looked around in boredom. He caught a blob of blonde in the corner of his eye. Milly! What was she doing here? He watched her walk slowly towards the entrance of "Geass." Quickly, he rushed over to Lelouch and grabbed his shoulders.

"Wha-" Lelouch's eyes widened as Suzaku grabbed his head and smashed his lips onto his own. "Mmmmffff!" Lelouch's scream was muffled.

Suzaku waited until he lost sight of the blonde president to loosen the grip on Lelouch.

Flustered, Lelouch shoved Suzaku away. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU PERVERT!?"

Suzaku's face resembled a tomato. "I saw Milly heading towards our direction and... I panicked. I didn't want her to see that it was you in your um... situation."

Wiping his lips, Lelouch glared at Suzaku, his cheeks still hot with embarrassment. "Slamming your lips onto mine doesn't help with "my situation."

"I panicked!"

Sighing for the hundredth time that day, Lelouch started heading out of the store with his bags of clothes. "Let's just go and forget that today happened."

Suzaku, relieved that Lelouch wasn't mad at him anymore, gladly followed.

* * *

On Monday morning, Lelouch arrived to a poster covered school. It looked like it had taken someone an entire weekend to fill it up. Posters hang from the roof, the walls, the stairs, _everywhere_. "What event is so important that it required the entire school to be a giant advertising campaign?," Lelouch wondered as he began walking towards the campus.

"Hey! Lelouch!" Lelouch heard as a group of girls call out to him, he turned to face them, "I didn't know you were gay. That's so cute!"

Wait. WHAT? As he got close enough, he ripped a poster off the wall. "Ashford's Cutest Gay Couple!", it read. Underneath, about 10 pictures of Suzalulu goodness displayed themselves on the page. MOTHERFUCKER.

* * *

_**EXTRA!**_

"So how was school?" Nunnally cheerfully asked as Lelouch stormed into the house.

"It was wonderful," Lelouch said with clenched teeth after slamming the door.

"Umm... You don't sound to happy, big brother," Nunnally said, worried.

"Let's just say I had a tough day."

"Oh yeah! Before I forget, here." Nunnally held out Lelouch's phone. "Sayoko said she found it under your bed."


End file.
